Energy

 SPOKEN REFLECTION

Today I found myself sitting in a quiet corner, thinking… really thinking. And my whole spirit said to me:

All this because I want to read.

All this because I want to run.

All this because I want to practice yoga.

And somehow, I still refuse to give up.

For more than ten years, through confusion, pressure, heartbreak, and struggle, the only thing that has ever made sense to me is this simple routine: read, run, breathe, stretch, meditate. The world told me to go get a job. The world told me to do what everyone else does. But every time I was told that, it came from people who drank, smoked, or lived in a way that never aligned with my soul. My spirit couldn’t follow advice coming from a place I did not believe in.

So I stayed with my practice. I stayed with my discipline. I stayed with my truth.

And somehow, even through everything I’ve suffered — the divorce, the stroke, the homelessness, the injuries — I still got up. I still read. I still ran. Even when I could only do a mile a day. Even when my body was trembling. Even when my hand barely moved. Today I looked at that hand… it’s slowly closing again. Slowly gripping. Slowly coming back. This is why I practice. This is why I don’t quit.

These last few days, having a room… even for a moment… it felt like rest. Real rest. I didn’t run 10 miles. I didn’t push myself. I just walked to get food, came back, did my yoga, my push-ups, and lay in the bed. And that rest softened something inside me. It made me desperate — not out of fear — but out of clarity.

I finally know what I want:

A place where I can wake up, practice yoga, read, meditate, run, and sleep in peace.

That’s it. That’s all I need.

And I realize now… I’ve given my entire life to this path. More than 60,000 miles. More than a decade of discipline. And instead of breaking me, it humbled me. It taught me gratitude. It made me spiritual in a way that no religion ever could. Today I understand that all religions are just different languages for the same truth. And what some call witchcraft or evil is really just the mind lost in fear and delusion.

Running and yoga made me wiser than any doctrine. They taught me curiosity. They showed me how little I know and how much more I want to learn.

And still — my biggest challenge today is space. Space to practice. Space to heal. Space to breathe. I wish I had an inheritance or some financial cushion. I wish I didn’t have to think about the streets again. I’ve experienced that world — the outdoor nights, the cold, the danger. It feels like war. And after surviving that, it’s hard to sit through meetings where people complain about things that no longer trouble my spirit.

I even think about my family. I’m not angry. Just amazed — how money can separate people, how titles can shape relationships, how someone can stop talking to you simply because you don’t look “successful” on paper. But breath is life. And I see now: some people value money more than life. And I have to step away from that energy.

I keep dreaming that someone will meet me and ask, “What do you need?” Or that abundance will touch me the way I feel it in meditation. Or that I will win the lottery. Because what I really want is so simple — a space to practice, a life of discipline, and a platform to speak. I want to learn how to speak with clarity. I want to share my story. I want to motivate others. I want to teach discipline, healing, and truth.

And until I have that, I will keep asking the universe:

Please teach me how to make money.

Please help me build a stable place to practice.

Please open the door for my purpose.

Because at this point… I have reached a place of no return. This is my path. This is my devotion. This is my life. And even though I feel tired right now, I feel determined more than ever.

My purpose is running. My purpose is yoga. My purpose is speaking. My purpose is healing. And today, as I rest, I ask for the strength to continue — and the resources to finally rise.

– Yoruba Yogi